The Website That May Become the Official Home of the Russell Coutts Fun Club.
A Fun Club should certainly not be confused with a Fan Club, because a Fan Club is where you might go to worship your Idol, but a Fun Club is where you go to make fun of them.
In this case, this is the site devoted to the sailor-come-scoundrel, Russell Coutts, - a man whom many might suggest cost his homeland (New Zealand) nearly a Billion Dollars in lost earnings, by selling out and defecting to the enemy at virtually the last minute before the 2002 America’s Cup.
The fact that “wretched” Russell secretly accepted an offer from a rival syndicate run by Ernesto "Ernie the Sailor Boy" Bertarelli who wanted to buy his way to the America’s Cup, rather than by winning it, by employing those with the suitable skills from amongst his own countrymen, left many of Russel “the Conniver” Coutts countrymen and fellow Team New Zealand team-mates, with a very sour taste in their mouths.
New Zealand is a very small country of less than 5 million people, who generally do not have the deep pockets of their Americas Cup counterparts overseas, and many average Kiwis contributed out of their own pockets to help this small country win the Americas Cup in the first place. Once you understand that, you will begin to understand the depth of the bad feeling when Mr.”Conniving” Coutts not only agreed to go behinds the backs of Team New Zealand and secretly agree to defect himself, he also helped arrange the defection of a significant number of other Team New Zealand crew at the same time.
If it had simply a matter of money, and Coutts had been respectful and courteous enough to tell Team New Zealand and his own countrymen that he had been made a better offer, and that he/they wanted more money, his position would have been more understandable. But that wasn’t the case. Instead “Wretched” Russell, gave his loyal countrymen and followers no chance, choosing rather to sell their souls, their birthright, knowledge and their skills to a foreign competitor, and slide out the back door.
In the months that followed, it became apparent that there was more to the deal than just money for “Rabid” Russell. Yes, Ernie Bertarelli had “supposedly” also agreed to make Russel the boss of the new Allinghi syndicate. And this was too good to be true for “Reeking” Russo. He had made the classic mistake made by some successful sportsmen – he believed that just because he had learned to point a sailing boat in the right direction, that this ability qualified him to also be the boss. In believing this to be the case, he simultaneously demonstrated that he did not have the commercial acumen to make it as anything more than a sailor boy, because anyone with half a business brain would have realised very early in the game, that people like Ernie never like to share the accolades and spotlight – and that any suggestion to hand over the reins to one of his lackeys, would have likely only been a ploy to tempt Russell to jump ship and desert.
As time has gone by, and Russo started to throw his toys out of the cot because he was not being given the ultimate power he craved, he started a sulking in public which eventually led to Russo, being given the sack. Yes, Russell “jobless” Coutts had been duped, and taken for a bit of a sucker. But that wasn’t to be the end of it.
After sacking his boy, Ernie must have started to fell just a tincy wincy bit insecure about his future in the big boys world of boats, so rather than risk an embarrassing thrashing at the next Americas Cup at the hands of the boy he was unable to control, he promptly started to throw his toys out of his cot. Yup, it was down to Larry the Lawyers office to use a Court to try and prevent “Wretched” Russell Coutts from competing in the next Americas Cup – talk about getting carried away, and forgetting that this yachting game is supposed to be just a sport!
Since then, little squalking has been heard from either Russel or Ernie. One can only assume that some kind of agreement had been reached where Russell the “wanna-be Rich Man” got more of Ernie’s money to run away and hide and be quiet. And Ernie still got to play boss.
Then again, there maybe more in it than first meets the eye, because as boss you obviously get to stand on the back of the boat if you yell loud enough, and that way you can get a turn to steer when you feel like it. And maybe in between steering you can grasp the closest long pointed instrument to hand, have a play with it and hang the sign Navigator around your neck.
Sadly, as a result of all this the Americas Cup will never be the same again. All those years of tradition and history have gone – and all thanks to a the actions of a jumped-up sailor boy who fantasized about being a corporate giant, and a chemist shop owner who came from a place where they make cuckoo clocks, and who liked messing about on boats. |
